Begin Again and Be Positive

This has been a low week.  There is no real reason.  The children have been sick since Monday but that is part of life as a mom.  I have spent most days in bed and the house is falling apart around me.  What am I doing? 

I am not being positive.  I am not living life.  I am not being a good mom.  I am not going to beat myself up and I am going to pick myself up.  I am going to begin again tomorrow. 

I will set my alarm., do my prayer and go to the gym.  I am going to live my life.  Life is hard.  God never said He would make it easy for me.  Suffering is a part of our journey to heaven.  Part of my journey to meet Him one day. 

What do you need to do to pick yourself up and begin again. 

Please continue to pray for our family as we pray for your family.  God Bless. 


P.S.  This as nothing to do with the Taylor Swift song with I have never even heard and just ran into when looking for a photo but should be accredited to my spiritual director who is always telling me to begin again. 

Being Postitive

Loosing Peter was without a doubt the most difficult and tragic event to ever happen in my life.  This pregnancy is also difficult, but I am trying to just be positive.  I am not one of those people who believe life has to be perfect.  Life is not perfect, right.  If life were perfect Peter would  be running around me.  Life is not perfect but instead of letting it get me down or take over my life I accept God's will for me accept His perfection for me!  My life is His design.   

What I am saying is this blog is meant to help families, especially Catholic families, move forward after they loss a child at any point in life stillbirth baby, infant, toddler, preschooler, and right on up to adult.  We are trying to move forward, not forget our lost family members.  We want to help people take the memory of their loved ones into their journey forward. 

I shared singing a joyful noise as a positive way keep us going.  We also have a Peter garden in the spring/summer.  I will say I have more things I need to work on daily.  One being getting up when my alarm clock goes off in the morning. 

What does your family do to stay positive?  Is there any thing your family is working on to be positive? 

We remember our Peter Francis now and always. 

Choosing Happiest

I could choose to be miserable in the loss of Peter but  God gives us freedom.  He gives us freedom to love, freedom to trust and the freedom to be happy.  I choose to love Peter while still living and loving others in my life. 

How do I love?  How do I choose to be happy?  I love by being the best wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, and friend.  I love so imperfectly.  I need to work on showing love and happiness.  A simple smile can go a long way.  I show happiness by being positive and really just smiling.  Saying "hi" to a neighbor or a stranger. 

How do you choose happiness? 

Please pray for me and my journey to love and be happy.  I need your prayers and the guidance of God to be the best person I can be.  I will continue to pray for you.  God Bless. 

Sunday Upon High

View from the our usually seat at St. Benedict Abbey.

 

One of my comforts as a mother who lost my little saint is getting to look upon him most Sundays. 

 

 Peter was buried at the little cemetery at St. Benedict Abbey in Still River, MA.  When we go to Mass at the Abbey, which happens most Sundays, I feel a since of comfort, love and even closeness to Peter.  I look out the window and know Peter's body is not far beyond the bushes. 

 

Sundays do give me a since of high.  I am looking forward to the spring when I am able to walk down and visit him more often. 

 

I am so grateful for the kindness and generosity the Abbey has shown our family.  We are so blessed to have them in our community and more importantly in our lives.  Please prayer they continue to get new vocations. 

 

Pray for us as we continue to pray for you!  God Bless.   

Snowflakes

Every snowflake is as unique as each one of us are. 

 

At our beautiful lunch Tea party there were snowflakes decorating the table.  Also on the table was a beautiful ice candles I wish I took a picture of but I didn't think of it at that moment.  When we went back to our seats in the hall the snowflakes where on each of our chairs.  How beautiful to remind us we are all individual.  We all have our own snowflake journey.
 

Retreat Centerpiece!

 

These Snowflakes reminded me to invite each of you to share your snowflake journeys.  I have heard from some of you.  I would love to hear from more of you.  Know I am praying for you all on your journey.

 

Leave your snowflake journey in the comments below or feel free to email me at ajniall@hotmail.com

 

 

Prayer for me and know I will be pre for you.  God Bless. 

Hidden Retreat Beauty

Beautiful creamer full of evergreens to help us to remember God is forever pouring His love over us. 

I have been looking forward to coming on retreat for a long time.  At first I thought it was because it was a time to get away but when  I got here I realized that was only a small piece of the puzzle.

The beauty and detail we receive while an retreat.

Last year when I came on this retreat I was so sad and broken.  I may not have looked broken on the outside but boy was I broken.  The retreat last year was three short months after the loss of Peter.  I was hurting as these beautiful women prayed with me and over me and gave me such hope.  It was wonderful and beautiful all at the same time.   

Every snowflake is as unique as the women on the retreat. 

This year the first night we came together and listen to a women share her story about trusting God.  I loved the first night with all my retreat friends, the friends I only see a once or few times a year. 
 

Spending to with friends on retreat! 



One of the first women I saw was my roommate from my first overnight retreat run by the Little Daughters of the Sacred Heart.  When she walked in the room there was no way of missing she was pregnant.  I know seeing a pregnant women on a Catholic retreat, how uncommon is that?  Well for Liz it was what she hoped for but she had lost two babies the year before.  We were both wounded that year before.  It was so beautiful.  I had been praying for her. 



That is when I realized how healing this retreat was for me last year.  I also learned it was healing for some many others also.  (No wonder I was so excited to come on retreat this year.)  That night the pregnant Mama just kept coming.  It was so beautiful.  Not as many babies at this year's retreat but next year there won't be anywhere to put all the Mamas with babies.   

The Relic Room at St. Benedict Abbey.

 I AM HERE was the theme for this retreat.  So beautiful and true.  Lord you were very present with us this beautiful weekend.

This retreat is part of my journey, part of my healing.  The most beautiful part was being prayed over with a relic of St. Gerald.  Last year being prayed of was also the most beautiful and healing part of the retreat.  What a gift these women have!


Center Relic is the true cross and just above is Mary and Joseph.
I love Relics.



My favorite part of the retreats is the arts and crafts we do.  (Well one of my many favorite parts of the retreat.)  Every year we create something different but still beautiful.  This year we made beautiful birch tree art.  Every one different and still beautiful.  

St. Gerald please intercede for me and all the other pregnant Mamas on this retreat.  You can find a list of the expecting Mamas here. 

Please pray for me and know I am praying for you.  God Bless!

Retreat Retreat

I Am Here.....This was the name of  the retreat I was on this weekend.  What a wonderful weekend with fantastic women.  Thank you God for getting me therefore yet another year. I will elaborate on the retreat through out the week. 

For now I want to pray for all the pregnant Mama's on the retreat.  There were many of us and it was beautiful.  I will be praying for  Liz T, Sara, Michelle. Colleen, Cindy C (from NC), Christine (from NC), Tabatha, Anne V and I hope I am not missing anyone.  Next years retreat will be fun and filled with babies.

I would also like to pray for Kate.  She and her husband are trying to conceive a baby for many years and have also started the adopt process.  Please prayer for them.

St. Gerald please intercede for al of us.   

Please pray for these Mamas and pray for me. I am praying for you.  God Bless. 

Prayers and Support

I would like to thank you all for the kind words and support. 

This is going to be a journey but I can already feel the love, prayers and support.  It makes me wonder why I waited this long to tell.  :)

I wish I could address every response personally.  I will do my best to address as many as I can.

God is so good to our family.  We are so lucky and grateful to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.