I mentioned in the post Two Doctors in 2 Days that of my both doctors said my baby has increased chances of birth defects. What does that mean to me? Is it scary? Yes, it is a little scary but not as scary as losing a baby. It means that I once again need to trust God. He knows what is best for my life and He will do in me what is His will.
On retreat this weekend the priest, Fr. Emmerich Vogt, started his talk with the Serenity Pray:
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;
Trusting that You will make all the things right if I surrender to Your Will;
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Do I blame myself? NO. Could I avoid the birth defects? Well there is a 3.8% higher chance of having a baby with birth defects if blood sugars are high in the first trimester because baby is developing. This is my 5th baby and the first time I have heard of this. Maybe I should have known. I did not and that makes me sad but I can not change my past. One of Fr. Emmerich's favorite quotes is "Give up on the hope of a better past." He told us this on retreat this week. Who knew I needed to hear this? God. I can't chance what I didn't know, I can't even chance the past 13 weeks of my life. I can only trust God knows what he is doing. I AM going to choose to trust that God knows exactly what He is doing in my life.
I continue to ask for your prayers. I am praying for you. God Bless!