If you have had a miscarriage or still birth you have children that are invisible to many. They are not invisible to you that is for sure. Our children are with Our Lord in heaven. Do we just pretend for the sake of others that our children are invisible? I am starting to think that is not the best thing. It may make people a little uncomfortable but it also may make others people able to talk about their loss.
In our case it is even a little more complicated because I have a step-daughter. She doesn't live in my house but she is definitely one of our children.
If someone asks one of my children "how many children in our family?" the answer is easy for them, they will simply answer six. They may even add and I have two nephews too. Sadly, if someone asks me that same question I feel like they are expecting the long answer. In my case if I were to answer honestly I would have to answer something like this "Six children, 2 girls 3 boys and one on the way. The oldest is my step daughter who lives in Florida with our two grandchildren, Henry and Joseph. Adriana is 9, James is 6, Thomas is 3 and Peter is in heaven. We lost him a little over a year ago. Baby #6 is due some time in August." Is this the answer people are expecting. Probably not and I don't want to make people uncomfortable but if they are asking me such a personal question I should be able to answer honestly.
If I thought that people just wanted a number is would be easy to just say I have six children but you know they are waiting for more. The easiest answer is "Three Adriana is 9, James is 6 and Thomas is 3." That is not how I will respond. From now on I am going to respond like this: "I have six children, 2 girls 3 boys and one on the way. The oldest is my step daughter who lives in Florida with our two grandchildren, Henry and Joseph. Adriana is 9, James is 6, Thomas is 3 and Peter is in heaven. We lost him a little over a year ago. Baby #6 is due some time in August." How will you respond?
What do you think? How do you answer this question? I would like to just answer honestly. Maybe I will just let the children answer for me, lol. Really I am going to work on answering honestly! I hope it helps other women to answer honestly.
Pray for me and know I am praying for you.
|January 2012 visit to Amanda!|